36 — The Feminine Mystique

From I.  My wife took a leave from work after our first child and ended up getting (unintentionally) pregnant again before her leave was up.  Oops.  Three years later she’s still a stay at home mom.  I work two jobs and come home dead tired every night.

Last night I dreamt we traded places.  I had to take care of the kids and clean the house with a pink vacuum and cook dinner wearing an apron and you know what?  It was the most relaxing fucking day of my life.

27 — 451289

 

From J.  It was a nice cool afternoon that day at my house in North Carolina, so I decided to go for a stroll down the nature trail that runs behind my house. I usually used my power wheelchair but that day I felt like getting a little exercise so I hopped in my manual wheelchair, grabbed my coat, and left my house. I started down the nature trail, going as slow as possible so I could just admire the flowers and bask in the tranquility and the peace of mind that nature brings to me. As I’m rolling along I see the grass move.

1 — The McDonalds Pregnancy Test

From K.

Last night I dreamt I took a pregnancy test and found out I was dying. I peed on the stick in the bathroom stall at McDonalds. I could hear the kids playing in the playground outside while I waited. They were really loud. Instead of a plus or minus the test came back black– I called customer service on my cell phone and they said it meant I was dying. I got excited because I thought it meant everyone would pay attention to me. But I called all my friends and no one even felt sorry for me. They all told me to stop being so self-centered and that they were really dissapointed. I called everyone in my phone. I dropped my phone down the toilet and left the bathroom. I went and laid down in the ball pit in the playground and sank. I was really comfortable and I didn’t want to wake up.